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The Riddle of the Goron & Various Updates, Etc.

7/21/2020

A book series I cannot recommend highly enough: Mervyn Peake's Gormenghast Trilogy.

Update: Well, I do promise that the next article is on its way. Everything is written, thank Hylia, and now it's just a matter of editing and organization. I've never written an article with another person before, so this has been an interesting process (and it will most certainly be an interesting read). My goal has been an article every two months, so I'm clearly about a month behind. But such is summer: a time to live actively and engage in nature. Fall and winter are the time for lucubration and navel-gazing. (At least in my mind.) Regardless, the Gorons are rolling ever closer.

Here's a riddle for you, in the meantime. I envision this as a battle-tested, Zelda-playing grandmother trying to scare her grandchildren before bedtime by recounting . . . well, see if you can guess the riddle's subject.

"Listen, my scrubs, and I’ll tell you a tale
       Of malice perniciously wrought!
       Of disasters and blunders aplenty,
       In search of the New and the “Hot”!

       Scene One: A Fledgling Leaves the Nest

       Wave to the left, and flap to the right,
       Swing and pretend you’re in a real fight.
       Rotate and twist and flick and then throw,
       Master, I sense that your power is low.

       Scene Two: An Unhappy Scribe

       The scribe sits alone with his stylus in hand,
       Scratching with loop, tick, and dash;
       With pain in his hand, his teeth start to gnash:
       Arthritis by curlicues fanned!

       Scene Three: “Blow out the candles, dear!”

       First, match your mouth to the color and note.
       Now hold it up to your mouth just so,
       And, just like I do, inhale and blow!
       No! Not at all! Is a frog in your throat?!

       Well now, my scrubs, can you guess at my tale?
       Of what do my histories speak?
       Horrors untold by the God-kings out East,
       And all in the name of the chic!"

(If you couldn't tell, I was feeling some ever-so-slight frustration with a few of Nintendo's game-design choices.)

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The Riddle of the Goron & Various Updates, Etc.

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